Trucy's Taciturn and Torpid Trial
by MadFox32
Summary: Join MadFox and Trucy as they study for the vocab section of the SAT, effectively annoying the heck out of everyone they come into contact with as a means to cope with their own misery. I won't be offended if you avoid it like the plague (I know I would), but it's a little funny (I hope). Plus, you can all make fun of my (and everyone else's) lacking vocabulary. Now with a plot! :D
1. Chapter 1

What would you expect a writer's greatest struggle to be on the SAT? (For all you cool non-Americans, the SAT is basically the test that gets you into college. It's kind of a big deal.)

Math, maybe? Nope. It's my vocabulary. (What can I say? I write for clarity, not with loquaciousness intended to perturb the laudable populace.) So I invented the SAT challenge. It's awful, but also kind of fun. Would you like to join me?

Step 1: Go onto and answer some vocab questions until you screw something up. (For every word you get right, you donate food to hungry people. It's a great site.) Keep track of all of the words you get wrong until you get a lengthy list.

Step 2: Write a story by CORRECTLY using each word, in order, throughout the story. Make it flow logically... No "Miles perused the shelves at the grocery store. Phoenix endured the arduous task of paperwork."

Step 3: Laugh at how awful it turns out, but do somewhat okay on the SAT.

Well, here goes. I hope you enjoy, and maybe learn some words (or make fun of my awful vocab. You can do that too.)

* * *

><p>All I'd really wanted to see was Bullets the cat.<p>

"...You're going to shove a steel pole through a strainer?"

"It's not a strainer, Polly! It's a sieve!"

"...What's the difference?"

"Sieve sounds cooler." _Of course that would be her reason._

"Do you have weird names for all of your magical props?"

"They aren't weird!" she huffed. "They're the proper terms."

"But a strainer and a sieve have the _exact same purpose_, right?"

"They're completely different!" _Trucy and her narrow-minded cultural assumptions. _"It would be like calling my howitzer a cannon!" she exclaimed, pointing to a... Cannon.

"Once again... What's the difference?"

"A howitzer is shorter."

"...Can't you just call it a short cannon, then?"

"That wouldn't bemuse the masses, Polly!"

"I see you've been studying again, Truce." I turned around to see Mr. Wright with a bottle of grape juice in hand.

"Of course, Daddy! Gotta get into the best clown college they've got!"

"Ha ha. That's my girl." Mr. Wright dug into a plastic bag. "I picked up some pudding for you."

"Really? Thanks, Daddy!" He tossed her a package of chocolate pudding and pulled a spoon out of a drawer.

"You know, if you're going to take money out of my wallet, you might as well buy me some pudding, too," I grumbled.

"Ever heard of nepotism, Polly?" she asked, handing me a plastic cup.

"Yeah. Presidents giving important government positions to their families. But what does that have to do with pudding?"

"Favoritism to relatives."

"Ha ha, I'll be sure to get you some pudding next time. I just couldn't picture you eating pudding." I ripped the lid off of my package and rebelliously spooned some of it into my mouth. "Well, I guess I can picture it now. I'm going to have to propound now. You know... I've got my secret mission."

"Daddy, you used propound wrong."

"Huh? Doesn't it mean to set forth? Because if it didn't, Edgeworth really _was _just trying to sound smart."

(A/N: Can we just enjoy the fact that my dog just ran into my room with a cup of chocolate pudding in her mouth, and I had to chase her down? She didn't eat any, don't worry. I did, though :3)

"That's what it means, but not like that. It's more like... 'Polly propounded that Daryan was the killer, and Prosecutor Gavin totally freaked out'."

"...Really?" _I think I just realized why Trucy technically owns this agency._

"I don't know why they expect high schoolers to know all this vocabulary. I mean, look at Apollo. He doesn't know any of this, but he's not a total waste of living tissue." _...I can't tell if that was a compliment or not._

"It's a prophylactic against dumb people!" she exclaimed. She grinned at our blank expressions. "Point and case. A prophylactic is a preventive. Like how hand sanitizer is a prophylactic against getting sick."

"I need a prophylactic against defalcators," I moaned. Even Trucy gave me a blank stare. _I have to admit, that feels really good. _

"I don't know that one," Trucy said.

"It's a legal term for people who take your money. Mr. Wright, you _did _pass the bar, didn't you?"

"...That was ten years ago."

"I can see that," I replied with a smirk.

"I lost my legal peerage a long time ago," he replied.

"Peerage... Social status?" I guessed.

"Nobility."

"Daddy, you were never that well respected."

"I think I trundled along just fine."

"...Daddy, stop making up uses for words."

"They see me trundlin', they hatin'-"

"Daddy. STOP."

"Patrolling they tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty-"

"Mr. Wright, I swear..."

"You are a pariah," Trucy firmly stated.

"...Is that even English?"

"It better be, considering how many times I messed it up!" _Poor Trucy. I remember studying for that test. _"Now get out of the vestibule and go on your secret mission."

"What, am I an outcast now?"

"That's what pariah means."

"Ouch. What about, uh... nepoism?"

"NepoTISM. It doesn't apply when your Daddy can't sing." Her face was so serious, I couldn't help but laugh. "Vestibule. Lobby. Out."

"Wow, they caught me ridin' dirty-"

"Daddy, I've got my howitzer out."

"Okay, I'm going, I'm going! Have a nice day, guys."

"I'll try. Enjoy your secrecy."

"I will. Enjoy your pudding."

"We will."

(MadFox did.)


	2. Chapter 2

I screwed up some really easy words, guys. On the plus side, I've gained 10 levels on freerice since I started studying! That's got to count for something.

I hope my loquacious lawyers help you guys out, too. Associating different characters with different vocab words is fun... Edgeworth is aloof, Lang is lupine, Trucy is an anomaly... It's great! XD

I decided to jump forward to post-DD time for this chapter, but the words sort of determine the story. I mean, you can't fit the word "sieve" into every story.

This story is largely based around AAI2, but it has no spoilers. Just know that Shelly de Killer decides to sell ice cream at one point in time, and Edgeworth personally saw him try to kill someone.

Eeeenjoy! :)

* * *

><p>"Edgeworth? You know how you said that you owed me a few favors?"<p>

"I do recall saying that."

"You see, Trucy's trying to study her vocab for the SAT, and... Uh... Well, we were thinking that she would probably learn more at the prosecutor's office. Apollo and I only really know legal terms, and Athena spent more time learning French than English."

"She wants to distend her vocabulary?"

"Expand her vocabulary, actually."

"...I see why you're asking me for help, Wright. Unfortunately, I'm currently involved with Interpol-"

"Again?"

"Indeed. Franziska and Lang are in my office at the moment."

"Are you talking about really secretive things?"

"Not quite, but-"

"Trucy won't bother you, I swear!"

"Are you sure that you aren't being unduly optimistic about your daughter? She's a lively one."

"When she's focused on school, she's focused."

"Indeed. I'm worried that my whip-happy sister and the lupine agent will keep her from focusing."

"Lupine?"

"...On second thought, I think she would learn more over here, whether she's distracted or not. I'll be expecting her, so try not to tarry for too long."

"...Tarry... Is that like, waiting around?"

"Goodbye, Wright." The phone beeped, and I looked at it grumpily. _That's not how you treat someone who you owe a favor to. _

"Trucy? Edgeworth said it was okay."

"Oh, really?" She grinned. "You know, some of these words are really useless."

"I'll bet." _I don't know any of them, and I get along just fine! _

"Guess what a quay is?" she asked. Athena looked up.

"Oh, I know! There's tons of them in London... And L.A., for that matter."

"Snobby rich people?"

"Well, yeah, but they aren't quays. It's the same as a wharf."

"Uh..."

"It's a pier. You know, for boats."

"Oh! You could have just said that."

"Oh, and this one's fun, too. Guess what a frijole is?"

"It sounds cold."

"Nope. It's a bean."

"...I agree, your words are completely useless. Now stop... uh... tarrying, and go to the prosecutor's office. Edgeworth is waiting for you."

"All right, Daddy. I'll see you later."

"See you, Trucy!" Athena called.

(O)

"Mr. Edgeworth, I'm here!" I called as I swung through the door of 1202.

"...Mr. Edgeworth, why'd you invite a cub?" some guy said with a scowl.

"She's the daughter of a good friend of mine. She won't cause trouble."

"Trouble is rife with the Wrights, little brother," Miss Franziska replied with a smirk. _Rife... I know I know that one. Oh! It means abundant, right? _"You, of all people, should know that. Though the big bad wolf **is** being a bit petulant."

"Petulant? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Crabby," I replied with a grin. The wolf-man glared at me, but he didn't scare me.

"English is a second language," he grumbled. "Lang Zi says: 'Clarity is found in simplicity.' We spoke Chinese back in Zheng Fa, so I don't see why international officials feel the need to confuse everyone with their vocabulary." _Petulant indeed. _I did feel bad for the guy, though.

"She's here to study her vocabulary, actually. Her father's lacking in that department."

"Hmph. I work with Interpol, little lady. I can say "You're under arrest" in 40 different languages."

"Yet his vocabulary is less than expansive in most of them," Miss Franziska teased. Mr. Wolf opened his grumpy mouth to say something, but he was interrupted by a crash.

"MR. EDGEWORTH! MR. EDGEWORTH!" Two people came into the office, nearly breaking down the door.

"Hey, big bruin boy and little crow girl. Can't you enter a room like normal human beings?"

"Nope! Not when a Great Thief's just stolen the truth!" The girl grinned.

"Hey! I don't know what you called me, but I don't think I like it, pal!" big bruin boy replied angrily. _The poor guy just got outsmarted by someone who has to keep 40 languages straight._

"I called you a bear. What did you find, Miss Kay?"

"We found Shelly's accomplice," she replied.

"De Killer?!" Miss Franziska exclaimed. "He has an accomplice?!"

"He's got a whole bevy." The Kay girl itched her nose proudly, which looked cooler than it sounds.

"Who is it?!" Mr. Edgeworth's brows were in a bunch like usual.

"Well, we went to the crime scene, right? Gummy was guarding it, so I swooped in and hid above the ceiling."

"Kay, you could have been killed! What if someone had tried to enter the room through the ceiling, and they had a gun?"

"Bzzt! 600,000 volts! I had a taser, I was off in a corner, and I was under a box. If anyone tried to check the box, they would've been pretty shocked, to say the least!"

"I can't say that I espouse your actions, but I suppose you knew what you were doing."

"Heehee! You always sound so fancy, Mr. Edgeworth. Relax, will you? I don't espouse your uptightness."

"You don't even know what that means."

"It kinda is like "spouse", like a husband or wife, so I'm going to guess support."

"...Just tell me who our suspects are, and I'll send in a search warrant."

Kay frowned. "They were all members of the police force... All prosecutors or detectives."

"Wh-what?! That's preposterous!"

"I-I think they were being blackmailed. Look at this." She pulled out a note, and put it on the table. Miss Franziska, Mr. Wolfy, and Mr. Edgeworth all swarmed around it like it was food and they hadn't eaten in a week. I could sort of see it from a distance, so I tried to read it.

* * *

><p><em>Luke Greyson- Police Report Brief<em>

_Kidnapped 3:45pm- 4:15pm, March 16, 2026_

_No suspects as to date_

_Notable conditions:_

_Victim was "grounded" in room, disappeared when parents came home_

_Expectorate was located on desk, contained no traces of sleeping medicine_

_A viscous brown substance was detected on victim's desk_

**_Mr. Greyson, _**

**_If you would like to see your son again, I need you to discard my calling card from your current case. I am an assassin of honor, and I would confess to any murder that I did, but that murder was done by another. I'd rather not dirty my record with the clumsy killing of an amateur, and I'd rather not dirty my hands with your son's blood. Have we come to an agreement?_**

**_-Shelly de Killer_**

* * *

><p>"Prosecutor Greyson..." Mr. Edgeworth frowned. "His son was released recently, I heard."<p>

"Yeah. And guess whose card disappeared?"

"I will certainly have to speak with him. Even the most impervious among us can be manipulated, unfortunately."

"A woman such as myself would have to object, Little Brother. You may be able to be bought for a high enough price, but my tenets are impenetrable."

"As nice as all your big words sound, my 40 languages aren't picking up any of them, Princess. That goes for you, too, Frilly."

"Ooh! Impervious is... Unbreakable, right? And a tenet is NOT a landlord, that's a tenant, but it's like a rule or a principle. Like your Lang Zi thingies."

"Don't call them 'thingies'," Mr. Wolf guy growled wolfishly.

"...She's here for vocabulary, remember. We might as well use our language to its fullest potential. Back to the original topic, if de Killer wasn't the murderer, I have to wonder who was."

"You trust that man's word? He's a criminal!"

"He's a criminal with a strong code of honor. Strong tenets, if you will. He has no reason to lie in this case."

"Mr. Edgeworth? This is a little off topic, but it's been bothering me for a while. Why did he use atroquinine? Isn't it hard to get your hands on?" I asked. _For e__veryone except Kristoph, anyways. _

"Yeah, the little lady has a point. It's made from Borginian cocoons, after all." Wolf-man frowned.

"One fool can foolishly transform the panacea from a cure-all to a kill-all," Miss Franziska replied.

"Panacea as in where the continents are all together?" I asked.

"That's pangea, pal!" the dumb scruffy guy said. _Huh. I guess he's a little smarter than he seems. _

"Oh, right. So what's panacea?"

"It's a cure-all."

"As much as I'm enjoying the English lesson, Interpol's not here to teach class. Lang Zi says: 'Those who can't do teach.' And Interpol can get it done!"

"Of course. Lang, are you proposing that de Killer obtained the poison?"

"He's got more ties to the black market than the Conductor himself."

"I've never heard of a case in which he used poison. He's strangled, shot, and stabbed. It's part of his job to kill quickly and precisely."

"So what do you propose?"

"I propose we question Mr. Greyson. I need more information."

"Hmph. We need action, Mr. Edgeworth. This assassin has eluded us for twenty years."

"Which is why it would be foolish to take action now against so talented a killer when we hardly have any information."

"Shelly de Killer... He's the butler guy who kidnapped Maya!" I exclaimed.

"Yes... That's him."

"He's still alive?"

"Yeah. Welcome to the conversation, cub. We've been waiting for you."

"...There's a guy who looks kind of like him who's selling crepes by Eldoon's noodles. Polly and I visit sometimes."

"What is he like?"

"Well, he's really calm, sort of old... Wears a monocle... And he's got stitches running down his face. I thought it was strange, it looked like the man that Daddy drew for me years ago when he was bragging about his time as a lawyer."

"Lang Zi says: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

"Trucy, this is crucial information!"

"What foolish foolery is this?!"

"Uh, yeah. He wears a French beret for the crepes and a coat with shells on it."

The room was silent.

"He hid in a crowd," Edgeworth finally stated.

"Is he there now?" Miss Franziska insisted.

"Probably."

"I'm sending out my men."

"Wait. Before your valedictions, do we have enough evidence to put him in jail?"

"...That's the court's job, Mr. Prosecutor."

"There's no point in arresting him if he's just going to go free. He'll kill us."

"We have proof." _Who said that? _"Sir, the video tape! Matt Engarde's video tape!" Mr. Kind-of-smart-in-a-dumb-way exclaimed. _Oh. I forgot he was here._

"And I have one of his calling cards, colored by Maya Fey while she was kidnapped."

"...Lang. Send your men."


	3. Chapter 3

After getting words that mean antelope, suitcase, and other useless things, I decided to switch to actual SAT vocab... So no more freerice *sigh*. But these are some quality words, and they are much more AA related X3

Enjoy! :)

(O)

"A prudent man as yourself should know that it would be unwise to leave Trucy exposed while we hunt for de Killer."

"I may have good judgement, but why would you leave her with me? Where de Killer can get both of us? We need my prudentness!"

"Please, use it now. We can't do anything drastic, or we risk alerting our assassin. I'm sure that the two of you are in no danger."

"M-Mr. Edgeworth... I'm too old to die!"

"You are fine, Your Honor."

"Mr. Edgeworth, you need to go. I can take things from here," I interrupt.

"Are you sure?"

"A Wright is born ready!"

"I do hope you use your congenital readiness for everyone's benefit, in this case."

"Don't worry, Mr. Edgeworth. You go take him down!"

"I hope I will." Mr. Edgeworth trotted off into the distance in order to daintily take down an assassin, and the judge looked at me with a hint of a glare.

"What happened to your usual equanimity?" I asked, basking in the pleasure of what would be his imminent confusion.

"There's a killer on the loose! I can't afford to keep my composure!" he replied without flinching. ...Well. Apparently the judge knows the English language pretty well.

"He's been on the loose for the past 15 years. Nothing you do now will change that."

"Your father... He's after me, too! That's why you're here! You're making sure that I can't leave!"

"Mr. Judge? Mr. de Killer doesn't leave witnesses. If we die, we die together. And I don't think we're in harm's way."

"So then why were you with Interpol?!"

"Um... I was trying to study my vocabulary. Interpol people are smart."

"I'll have you know that my elocution is far greater than the prosaic vocabulary that leads to the lassitude of the masses!"

"I think I understood half of those words." He probably made them up, but I'll humor him.

"Hmm... Do you know what elocution means?"

"Nope!"

"It's the way you speak," the judge replied proudly. "I have a very sophisticated one!" Uh... Sometimes, at least.

"What about lassitude?"

"Feelings of weakness."

"Oh, like a young lass in distress! And what was that other word... Mosaic? It wasn't mosaic, because that's a kind of art..."

"Prosaic means boring or mundane."

"Oooh! You know, you're really good at this!" If he isn't making this up, anyways.

"My elocution us unrivaled!"

"I don't know... Mr. Edgeworth has some pretty sophisticated elocution."

"As a judge, I doubt your own acumen."

"...Oh, Right! Ability to make good judgements? So you're judging me because you're judging that I might possibly be judging you for having improper judgement in your elocution."

"I'm the only judge around here!"

"So you should know that for a good judgement, you need to have evidence!"

"I have plenty of big words up my sleeve. Like pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis!"

"I know that one. It's this disease you get when you get volcanic ash in your lungs!"

"Aww... I thought that was a hard one."

"It's so long that lots of people know it. Got any other words?"

"My immutable verdicts!"

"Unchangeable. I know that one."

"My garrulous language!"

"Oh, that's just loquacious… Wordy."

"The masses tout the great judge!"

"I know all your words, so why are the masses praising you for your subpar pontification?"

"I'll have you know that I have a bigger vocabulary than Redd White himself! Now stop with your circumlocution and admit that I've already taught you three words."

"Ooh, I heard that Redd White makes up half his words. So you stop with your circumlocution and admit that those words were made up!"

"I'm not dodging the subject! I don't have quick enough wits to make up those words!" I have to give him that one.

"I don't know, you're quick witted enough to vacillate in every trial until Polly punches someone."

"It's a good quality for a judge to have! The more I change my mind, the more it shows that I'm only swayed by evidence."

"That, or Prosecutor Gavin playing air guitar."

"I haven't banned the defense from playing air guitar!"

"I dunno, Polly's a little pusillanimous."

"...Now you're making up words!"

"Hah! I got you! It pretty much means "like a scaredy cat"."

"That does not exist!"

"It does! Look it up on Google!"

"...Goggle? Is that some sort of dictionary?"

"...I think you need to expand your modern-day vocabulary."

"I don't need to know about your electronical do-hingies!"

"Electronics are becoming crucial to understanding crime scenes, Your Honor. If you don't learn about them, you're just being a recalcitrant citizen, and you're affecting your verdicts."

"I'm not rebellious!"

"You're definitely querulous."

"I never complain!"

"Your Honor, I really think I should show you a real live smartphone. It's got internet, even in here… It's 4G!"

"Internet? 4G?"

"...Have you lived under a rock since you were ten?! Here, let me show you."

When Daddy had come by later, the judge had figured out the basics of the internet and was staring intently at the screen. "There is no place in a court of law for pigs like you!" he called.

"Are you talking to me?" Daddy asked as he walked in. Wow, nice timing, Daddy!

"They all must fall!"

"Uh, I taught him how to play angry birds," I told him.

"You didn't."

"He didn't know what the internet was!"

"...Here I was, thinking that you were in danger from de Killer, and you're here, teaching the judge how to play angry birds."

"No! Miss Wright, there aren't any more levels!"

"Oh, you just have to go to a new set. How about the cake levels?"

"Cake? The pigs are in the cake?!"

"Yep!"

"I object! Sustained!"

"You have to take them down, Your Honor!" I handed him back the phone and walked up to Daddy. "I was trying to keep him from thinking about de Killer," I whispered. "Plus, he's been living under a rock this whole time."

"You aren't getting your phone back. You do know that, right?" Daddy asked.

"Nah, I can get it back."

"...I don't think you know the judge like I do, Truce."

"I just want to go home. And by home, I mean to the office."

"...Then you shouldn't have given him 30 more levels to do!"

"But look how happy he is!" I said, pointing to a fuming judge. "...Okay, he's happy on the inside."

"YOU DARNED PIGS!"

"...Your Honor? I'm going to need my phone back. I'm going home."

"But there's so many pigs in the cake! It's repulsive!"

"Why don't you go to the store, buy a cake, and maybe a smartphone? Angry Birds is free if you have a smartphone."

"Oh! Then I could do that texting thingamajig!"

"Yeah! And you could talk to your grandkids using the little messages during court recesses!"

"Oh, technology is so exciting! I'll go buy a cake. And one of these things."

"Well, I've got to go. Bye, Your Honor!"

"Bye, Miss Wright!"

As soon as we were out of the room, my Daddy started laughing.

He laughed for a really long time.

"The judge… Texting…!"

"Yep! He's more hip than you!"

"...I wouldn't say that."

"Oh yeah? I'll need to see some evidence!"

Man, I loved being a daughter of the law.


End file.
